I have always hated the idea of dating married people, but here I am...the ex-girlfriend of a married man.
It started sometime during the lockdown, I went somewhere to get groceries and ran into this man. Let’s call him Mr X. His smile and sense of humour was the attraction. He was putting on a nice senator material and when I stood for us to leave, he towered above me. I am a 6ft tall lady and ladies with my height can tell the happiness when you meet a taller man.
We started chatting regularly and we were in a competition to give ourselves treats. On our second date which I initiated, I asked his age and he replied 36, he asked mine and I told him. He expressed his doubts and I showed him my drivers license. Started asking many questions about my background and I answered all of them. I asked about him too, including his marital status.
I had just gotten out of a relationship, his father said he wouldn’t marry outside the Catholic church and he started drifting, I had to let him go.
It was tough for me, but after months of keeping to myself, my friend encouraged me to go on dates and give another man a chance. I decided to give Mr X a chance.
It was beautiful. We were in a competition to please ourselves, take ourselves out and we both had a healthy sense of humour...chatting was fun!!! Everywhere we went, people stared. We were all over ourselves even in public and till date I wonder how he pulled that off.
One day his office had a party and he asked if I could come, I said yes. Got there and the guys were looking at me with lust, the ladies were looking at me with pity. He said the ladies were jealous of my looks and some of them have been crushing on him. If you see him and see me, you’ll understand why this explanation made little sense.
After the party that day, it was late to go back to my house and his house was farther, so we decided to book a hotel around. That night was our most intimate night. We kissed, he gave me leg massages, a head and said he is ready when I am ready. I was blown away. Could this be real?
I always noticed he would be lost in thoughts whenever we are together and blame it on work. Other times he will start feeling sick and I would have to close earlier to go give him food and drugs. This became a regular occurence until one day…
He had fallen sick as usual. I made him promise to take pain relievers and we should consider going to the hospital. He didn’t do this and I had to make out time within the week to go check on him. He said it is because he was missing me, how sweet!
He didn’t get better, it was obvious something was bothering him. I decided I will take him for lunch so we can talk about it, but he couldn’t wait. That night he said he has something to tell me, he kept apologizing but still couldn’t say it. He asked if he could send a voice note and I told him to go ahead.
At about 3mins into the voice note, I felt my world crumbling. He told me he was married and has been married for almost 10years with kids. His family was not in the country, that is why I never saw traces of them. He said he had been battling with the guilt and was scared to tell me because some other girl left when she found out and the last was with him for money. He knew I would leave and was scared, his best friend told him to give it time, another told him to ghost me but I have been good to him and his conscience won’t let him. Other friends said he should never mention it to me.
When my friend saw him, she told me he was going to hurt me. I asked her how and she said I was too innocent for him. She didn’t say further not to be termed hater, but since he made me happy again...she wished me well.
I kept replaying the audio while he kept asking me to say something. I wondered if he treated his wife the way he treated me. He was such a gentleman. Held my hands when I had to walk in heels, opened the car door for me, checked on me at work, gave me handmade customized gifts...he made them himself. He said his wife is bad and he wants divorce her, lolz. I told him they all say that. I told him how much he has hurt me, but I forgive him and appreciate him telling me when he did.
It has been almost 3months but the pain lingers. I know I will be fine…
